Today, grocery shopping. Where do these mothers come from? You know, the ones with the well-behaved children sitting happily in the shopping carts? I would like them to teach a class to us mothers with the screaming miniatures, torturing all who enter the same grocery isle, deafening all within earshot. I have been at this game for 8 years, ever judgemental of all those who actually HIRE A BABYSITTER so they can shop without children! Or worse, pon them off on the well-manipulated relative only to call every so often to ask, "I just have one more stop to make, it shouldn't take long. Do you mind if I'm just a little longer?" Only to pretend not to hear the exhaustion or frustration coming from the poor frazzled relative.

Yes, I said "ever judgemental". After all, my mother had SEVEN children and she took us all with her. Sure we grew up in the day that it was still considered "safe" to leave your kids in the car while you shopped for an hour, when seat belts and car seats were a frivolous option, before Nickelodeon and the Disney Channel spouted commercial after commercial for the latest stupid toy that, in reality, looks great on TV, but only gets played with for a grand total of 10 minutes per year. You know, the 100 toys that your kids beg for beg for beg for beg for beg for..... until you just want to scream, "SHUUUUTTT UUUPPPP!!!" Nevertheless, we cannot. We must keep our cool because we all know that I am not the only judgemental mother in that store. No. We are EVERYWHERE! Forcing false smiles and calm temperaments on all those who are only minutes away from developing permanent crazy ticks, flinching at the slightest movement, lashing out at the smallest perceived insult. "What do you mean, do I need help?! Do I LOOK like I need HELP?! Do you want to rephrase your question, Sales Clerk?!"

So, today as I walked into the dreaded big blue building with three beautiful children in tow, I took a deep breath, held it in for three seconds, and slowly released, just as my psych 101 professor taught. I knew what I was in for. I always do. So, why don't I pack a snack and liquid for these kids? Why do I always say, "I don't think I'll need wet wipes, I'll only be a minute." Maybe it's my persistent blind desire to have everything go perfectly. Who knows. So, as I'm "calmly" asking my 25 month old to step off the 18 pack of eggs, and "gently" request that my older children stop running all around, jumping, screaming, chasing, lagging, etc., etc., my mind runs through those relatives who may be "willing" to watch my kids as I, "run a few errands." But, no. I must not. I ponder the possibility that I may actually be SAVING money if I pay a babysitter.

Now, I am home. I have had a few hours to calm down and put things in perspective. And guess what? My kids are AWESOME! They really are. They are full of talent, love, energy, curiosity, optimism, an amazing amount of patience, and thankfully, forgiveness. They deserve a mother who can re-evaluate their behavior as well as her own. They deserve a mother who can find the self-control, patience, and yes, long-suffering it may take to overcome the grocery store frenzy. So, the kids are screaming, maybe I can try to understand why. So, they want all the toys they see on commercials, maybe I should play with them more and turn off the dang TV. They want to run and jump and chase each other. Maybe those other frenzied mothers should just get out of the way. Just kidding! That's one we may need to work on. But do you get my attempt at philosophy? Hopefully I can do more than just write about it.

Have a great day, and good luck shopping during this time of year! Maybe I'm not the only one with the babysitter on speed-dial.